Buffalo Nuggets

Vegetarian (for vegan, omit the honey in the sauce)

Holy Cow.

I just made the most incredible , spicy, kick you in the face Vegan Buffalo Nuggets. Its still football season. I needed these in my life since the Giants predictably shit the bed this season.

Here’s the thing about finger foods, they’re a fucking crowd pleaser, like your mom. J.K that’s why your dad left.

In actuality, these nuggets are easy to make and I am about to show you how.


  • 1 block extra firm tofu
  • 1 cup of flour for coating
  • 1 cup of flour for batter
  • 2 cups of water
  • 1 teaspoon each salt and pepper
  • 1 tablespoon of cajun seasoning
  • Three splashes of your favorite hot sauce.
  • Sauce
  • 1 cup buffalo wing sauce
  • 1 tablespoon honey
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 3 dashes of hot sauce
  • Vegetable oil for fyring


Wash your filthy hands and get a manicure for christ’s sakes. Your cuticles could cut an eye out.

Pre-heat your oven to 400

Heat a pan with 1/4 of an inch of vegetable oil on medium. Its ready when you take a fork full of batter and dip it in. If it sizzles and fries than you’re good to go. If it doesn’t than maybe you should have stayed in home-ec class instead of getting felt up behind the gym bleachers. You obviously missed the how to turn a stove on class.


I started with a block of Extra Firm tofu. I am not opposed to putting soft things in my mouth but when it comes to tofu I stick with extra firm. Why? Because if its already hard going in its half the work. Frying work  I mean.


So cut your tofu into 1/4 inch rectangles. Then cut them one more time down the middle.

Now you have all this tofu sitting in front of you. Get yourself three bowls. One for the batter, one for the flour and one for the sauce.

Add your flour to a bowl. Start tossing tofu in with your fingers and keeping tossing until all your tofu is coated with flour. Let that sit by itself for 10 minutes in a corner and think about what its done to your thighs, naughty naughty flour.



In another bowl add your flour, salt, pepper, cajun seasoning and hot sauce. Slowly pour the water in and whisk as you go. Whisking is all in the wrist, but I don’t have to tell you that. We all know you are good with your hands.


Now get ready to fry. Take each coated piece of tofu and dip it into the batter. Fry for 3-5 minutes each side until they are golden brown. Place on a piece of paper towel off to the side and fry the next batch.

Ok you have all your tofu deep fried and on a plate.  Now mix together your buffalo wing sauce, honey, oil and hot sauce. Toss those nuggets around in there like sorority girls at a jello wrestling match.


Bake these little nuggets in the oven for 30 minutes turning often. They are hard on the outside and soft on the inside like me ::cries in front of a mirror::






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