Fried Zucchini


Zucchini. It looks like a penis. Any vegetable shaped like genitals looks like it would be delicious to batter and fry. Maybe its just me.

Zucchini is one of the most beneficial vegetables you can chew on. Its packed with a massive amount of vitamins and minerals. Check out its stats here:

This will make your boyfriend forget about that time you hooked up with his best friend in a bathroom at Applebee’s. Until he finishes eating it. Then its back into the basement for you, whore.

So here we go- Fried Zucchini.


  • 1/2 cup quinoa flour
  • 1/2 cup whole wheat flour
  • 1 cup water- plus extra if you need to make the batter thinner.
  • 1 tablespoon onion powder- youre not getting laid today
  • 4 dashes of soy sauce
  • 1 teaspoon each salt and pepper
  • 2 Zucchini
  • Oil for frying


How to:

Start by heating 1/4 inch of oil in your pan on medium: Enjoy the useless fluff photo below clown


On a cutting board cut the ends off your Zucchini and then slice it in half length ways

Continue cutting it into strips.


Additional Useless Photo

Pour your two flours into a bowl. Add the seasonings (salt, pepper, onion powder, soy sauce, jizz. Just kidding, checking to see if youre  paying attention)

Now whisk the water in slowly. The batter should be just a little runny, but still thick enough to coat like this

One zucchini at a time, no running in the halls. Dip each veggie into the batter coating it on all sides. The oil is ready when you dip a fork into the batter and let it drip into the pan. If it sizzles its ready.



Fry them until golden brown on both sides- approximately 5 minutes each side.

I served them with left over tomato sauce. Bada bing bada boom.


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