Homemade Croutons


Few things in life are as addictive as crack cocaine. Or if you’re a prominent actor, lets say having sex with questionable prostitutes in cars and rest stops. But I have found something far better than grinding your teeth down and hooking for fixes. That’s correct. Sit down, I am about to blow your mind the way you blew your drug dealer. Homemade croutons are not to be fucked with. Try them once and you will be giving out hj’s for cash. Trust me on this. Add them to soup or salad. Go to rehab. Come back as Flava Flav. Yeaaaaaaa Boiiiiiiiiiiiii


Set up

Heat up that old oven of yours to 350. Or if you’re really poor, light up your outdoor kitchen.

Start by cubing your loaf of bread. Watch your fingers, your webbed feet are bad enough, I don’t want you losing your digits now too.


Cubed Italian Bread 

Dump all that into a bowl and prepare to season and repent. Toss it well. You’re good at that.

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Add this to an ungreased cookie sheet.


Croutons 4L

Bake 15-20 minutes until golden brown


Ermagod Croutons are so good 

Please find me and pry them from my hands. I’m starting to look like Kirstie Alley in her bad years.


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