Onion Bean Dip

Ok. When i want to be left alone in church or at a wedding I load up on beans. Fine, the church part was a lie. Ok the whole thing was a lie. When I want to be left alone I let my stellar personality shine. When I really want to be left alone I just go under the bed and I cry while reading cosmopolitan. I cry because being slutty is now called being empowered. What a time to be alive ladies AMIRITE?

This dip will knock your tits off. Serve it warmed with a little olive oil drizzled over it and wow the fuck out of your posh friends while they talk about using tinder to get free dinners. What a time to be alive AMIRITESWIPE.

 

Directions

Wash and drain your beans. Now wash yourself. Nothing can wipe the shame away but its worth a try. Start by heating a pan with olive oil on medium. Let it get super hot. Cut up your onions like the photo below. Mince the garlic.

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Fry up your onions until they are browned. Then lower the heat in your pan and add the garlic. Cook for 4 minutes.

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Great. Youve done something right. It looks delicious already. Grab your basil and your parsley and chop it in a food processor.

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Add your beans. Blend child. Add water and blend until smooth.

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So you’ve come this far. Now scoop in your onions and garlic. Add a dash of cayenne pepper, salt and pepper and a little olive oil. Blend again until smooth. Serve it with crackers and fromunda cheese. Delish.

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2 comments

  1. Jaime Belle Lecuyer · February 14, 2016

    “Add your beans. Blend child. Add water and blend until smooth.”
    Instructions unclear, child is now in food :p
    Looks wonderful and will be trying it tonight!

    Like

    • carolynmonroe · February 14, 2016

      Are children vegan? I havent read anything to the contrary

      Like

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