Vegan Chocolate Pudding

Few things in life are as rewarding as chocolate pudding. The only thing I can think of that’s more rewarding is throwing pennies out your moon roof onto people who ride your ass.  Personally I would rather that than a hormonal childless shrew from staten island with the mouth of a trucker. Consider yourself lucky.

This pudding is good. There should be a porn with this pudding in it somewhere, that’s how good it is. This could be the start of a new business.



Start by adding your almond milk, vanilla, sugar and cocoa powder to a pot. Whisk it all together until frothy. Then begin heating the mixture and clean your whisk well.

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Go dump the cornstarch and water into another bowl. DO NOT SNORT THIS. I know you cant control putting things up your nose but this wont get you to take a huge dump.

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Whisk this together until it is a very creamy, very sticky white liquid. Ok that joke would be too easy so moving on.

Now heat up your milk mixture to medium high heat. Add this in and begin whisking the whole thing letting it rest for a few seconds at a time. When it begins to bubble you know its thickening. Continue whisking this until it gets thick and then remove it from the heat and let it cool. It will continue to thicken as it sits watching you from a bush. I mean just let it sit on the counter top. Serve it warm with bananas or cold like your sex life.

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Shout out to the page where I found the original recipe- I have modified it slightly by using more vanilla and almond milk as opposed to soy milk. Cheers fuckers



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