Easy A$$ Meal

Many people liken going vegan to sliding a watermelon through your asshole. I may have confused that with giving birth. You get my point.

“It’s more expensive than a russian mail order bride.” -my anonymous friend.

“If I wanted to work that hard I would have signed the birth certificate,”-your adoring father.

You get what I am saying. But the truth is sometimes being vegan is cheaper and easier than your sister was in high school. And that’s saying a lot.

I made myself a delicious vegan lunch the other day. And simple.  Heat up your panties to 425 degrees and lets bake some potato.

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Homemade Croutons

Vegan

Few things in life are as addictive as crack cocaine. Or if you’re a prominent actor, lets say having sex with questionable prostitutes in cars and rest stops. But I have found something far better than grinding your teeth down and hooking for fixes. That’s correct. Sit down, I am about to blow your mind the way you blew your drug dealer. Homemade croutons are not to be fucked with. Try them once and you will be giving out hj’s for cash. Trust me on this. Add them to soup or salad. Go to rehab. Come back as Flava Flav. Yeaaaaaaa Boiiiiiiiiiiiii

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