Open Faced Kale and Broccoli Sandwich

Lunch. Depending on how much you drank the night before lunch can be an enjoyable meal without the taste of vomit or it can be a sustenance based binge of french fries from mcdonalds. Don’t act like you haven’t had lunch next to a homeless man while he pisses himself.

If you are lucky enough to not smell like Paris Hilton’s old closet this afternoon then you may be a candidate for yawnfucks anonymous. How dare you sit there and judge me? I am living my dream one bathroom stall at a time.

This lunch will be the best decision I have made for myself in almost 15 hours.

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Broccoli and Pesto Penne

Vegan

I gotta admit. I was skeptical about this sauce from the get go. Its a little chunky. I mean like the other Tyler daughter chunky. Jk. I cant front. I would totally sleep with her and then give her a fake number. So I started with the freshest ingredients. Like olive garden. But poorer 😦 A little basil, a handful of nuts and a bottle of Flying Cloud Cabernet go a long way to black out. Add the bottle of wine directly to your mouth. Add the other shit to your pasta. Drink until your tears taste good. Drown yourself in a bowl of memories and penne. Cry deeply. Eat more. Go swimming before 30 minutes. YOLO. FTW

Lets make-aahhhh the pastaaaaaahhh.

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