Open Faced Kale and Broccoli Sandwich

Lunch. Depending on how much you drank the night before lunch can be an enjoyable meal without the taste of vomit or it can be a sustenance based binge of french fries from mcdonalds. Don’t act like you haven’t had lunch next to a homeless man while he pisses himself.

If you are lucky enough to not smell like Paris Hilton’s old closet this afternoon then you may be a candidate for yawnfucks anonymous. How dare you sit there and judge me? I am living my dream one bathroom stall at a time.

This lunch will be the best decision I have made for myself in almost 15 hours.

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Homemade Croutons

Vegan

Few things in life are as addictive as crack cocaine. Or if you’re a prominent actor, lets say having sex with questionable prostitutes in cars and rest stops. But I have found something far better than grinding your teeth down and hooking for fixes. That’s correct. Sit down, I am about to blow your mind the way you blew your drug dealer. Homemade croutons are not to be fucked with. Try them once and you will be giving out hj’s for cash. Trust me on this. Add them to soup or salad. Go to rehab. Come back as Flava Flav. Yeaaaaaaa Boiiiiiiiiiiiii

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