This soup is chunkier than you were before your parents sent you away to the “special” camp. It can not help you clear up any of your on going STD infections but it sure as fuck fights disease and cancer. The vegetables in this soup are like a rocket ship to immunity, unlike your English lit major,which contrary to what your admissions counselor told you, was a rocket ship to your hostess job at the local TGI Fridays. So lets heat up a pan of tears and olive oil and get to souping.
Soup is so titties. Its like negative a million here in Hoboken and I am just waiting for the Hudson River to freeze over like my heart. The only thing that can save my wretched life in these conditions is hot, creamy liquids in my throat. This soup is a little chunky, very hearty and fucking delicious. I serve it at dinner parties and my guests can’t believe i haven’t had botox. Or that the soup is vegan, whatever.