I can’t think of any place in New York City but Chinatown where you can get a happy ending and a stir fry on the same corner. I cant comment on the first, but the stir fry is so titties. So in homage to the smelliest shit hole in the Big Apple I wanted to get wasted before 5 pm and have a fabulous lunch alone while i cheers to Chinatown and cry into my glass of sauvignon blanc. Chin Chin fuckers lets cook.
You’re gonna need a bottle of good white wine for this. Try to get drunk enough to forget that your parents still think you’re a lesbian because you haven’t had a boyfriend in a few years.
Child. Cajun seasoning is like fairy dust. Sprinkle it on a limp lifeless chunk of protein and massage some oil in there and you have a sturdy mouth full of the white deliciousness we call tofu. Jk tofu can taste like your mother’s shitty cooking if you dont dress it up real nice and get it all greasy. That’s how you get it to put out…….flavor.
These little nuggets of heaven are hard on the outside and soft on the inside. They will foodgasm you into submission with their flavor voodoo.
So get your gal Tofu all dolled up for a night on the town and lets get to cooking.
Soy sauce can basically make anything taste good. Except your balloon knot. That will never taste good no matter how much soy or strawberry flavored anything you add to it.
So naturally soy sauce makes a delicious marinade. This marinade is two parts asian pornography and two parts italian violence. Its is 100% tasty.
I let my tofu marinate for a few hours alone and think about how it brought home some fucking bimbo from a bar thinking that I woudn’t find out . Well slutty cinderella left her stripper pump under the bed. And then I fry it and I eat the evidence. I don’t remember what we were talking about…………..